FROM THE WHITE HOUSE
Washington, D. C.
To the particular Honorable Kim Jong Un
Dear Beloved Leader:
I hope youâll deal with this letter as personal plus confidential, from one large-handed leader to a different. I got the idea to write it through my generals, who were telling me personally all about this big showdown more than Cuban missiles back in the 1960s, which usually apparently really happened.
I thought, hey, if John Kennedy may negotiate over missiles directly using a dictator â? and he was an extremely low-quality person, let me tell you â? after that so can Trump.
You canât leave diplomacy to a loser such as Tillerson, believe me. But Iâm trying not to think about him at this time.
Itâs very important that you and I speak, very important. Because like I mentioned during one of those debates we had throughout the campaign, which were a total waste of your time, although people said I won all of them and frankly that I was the finest debater ever, and thatâs an immediate quote from somebody somewhere, yet anyway, what I said during a discussion was, âIÂ think, forÂ me,Â nuclearÂ isÂ justÂ theÂ power, the devastation is very important to me.â
I canât say this any clearer than that.
First off, let me just point out which our great peoples have a long background together, and all of Korea is honestly very special to us â? very, very special. I mean, a person gave us the TV show âM*A*S*H,â which had a tremendous run.
Also, without the Korean people, we wouldnât have all those unbelievable grocery stores within Manhattan. Seriously, I have so much adore for the people, so much love. I actually told my guys at GLACIERS, leave the Koreans alone, just because a lot of actual Americans depend on all of them for kimchi. Great respect, think me.
You and I have a lot in common, we really do. I know someone said that calling you âLittle Rocket Manâ was obviously a terrible insult, but you canât think anything you read in the failing Ny Times or lying CNN or maybe the rest of the fake news media. These are exactly the same people who said that I could never earn the primaries, and that Hillary would definitely be the president, and that Puerto Vasto was part of the United States.
The the fact is that âRocket Manâ is a very popular track here in America â? very much cherished, believe me. Itâs about a man who goes into space and discovers that Mars isnât a very good spot to raise a kid, because itâs cool as hell, and thereâs nobody there to raise them if you do. Which frankly makes no feeling, even in English, but it was the â? ***********************************************************************************************************************)s.
The point is, weâre a lot alike. For one thing, we both worth family, am I right? I could see you just promoted your sister to some powerful job in the Politburo â? very touching, very beautiful. Iâm getting ready to turn the White Home over to Ivanka in 2020, although my poll numbers are just amazing, better than any president in history, without a doubt.
Iâd point out that Ivanka is definitely smarter than Pence, but honestly I think Donald Jr. is better than Pence, and Iâm confident he still eats crayons whenever heâs nervous, so thatâs not really saying very much. Â
And while weâre on the subject of family, allow me to say I admired the way you required out your brother, having strangers operate up and poison him within the airport, which was genius. I produced a comment about it, and since then, every time I go to embrace Jared, he jumps back and protects his face. Hysterical.
Letâs notice, what else. Both of us possess great hair, right? I see that will everyone in your country wants to perform their hair just like you, which I applaud. I am talking about, I look at a guy like Tillerson, whoâs 65 years old and still components his hair in the middle, and I think itâs just sad, frankly. But Iâm not bothered by him, Iâm really not.
Weâre both seriously committed to the mining industry. Iâm getting rid of these Obama rules, that are very, very harmful to our economic climate, and youâre giving people work for the rest of their lives in labor camps, that is basically the same thing.
We both understand how to handle critics. Although I have to depend on tweets for that, because I donât have the same kind of latitude you like over there, which is something we have to change, let me tell you.
I canât inform you how many mornings I wake up plus think: Wouldnât it be fine to throw Bob Corker right into a pit of starving dogs, or even pin him to an antiaircraft battery pack?
And donât even get me personally started on Tillerson. Everyone informed me, âGet Tillerson, youâve got to get Tillerson for State.â And then he calls us a moron. You know whoâs a moron? A guy who gives up 25 million bucks a year so he is able to come running whenever I sound familiar, thatâs who.
Letâs just declare if I were to send Tillerson on the diplomatic mission to Pyongyang, and were to, say, disappear into one of the work camps, I could see how we may end up in a very long standoff just before negotiating his freedom. It could get years, a deal like that. Yet thatâs a hypothetical.
Anyway, weâve got a great thing going right here. This business with me tweeting about coming up your country, and you coming back along with âfinal doomâ and all of that. The rankings are off the charts, right? Itâs a hell of a show, it truly is.
Weâve got the whole world waiting to know every twist and turn. Itâs actively playing on all the networks at once, that is really something, let me tell you.
But one does know itâs a show, right? Due to the fact words are one thing. Words have zero consequences, near as I can tell. You are able to say anything, incite any kind of trend or reaction, and your people simply love you more for it. This is exactly what Iâve learned in politics, think me.
Nuclear war, though â? my generals tell me that would be really, very horrible. Millions and millions of people might disappear, and not like on âThe Apprentice.â Our ratings would tank. The particular show would be terrible.
Iâm certain weâre on the same page here, however it canât hurt to double check. So great luck with the public executions, plus please pass along my fire plus fury to the entire family!
Donald J. Trump
P. S. In case you really need to sink Guam, as type of a season finale, I have it. Just maybe give me a heads-up, so I can see about Tillersonâs take a trip schedule. But Iâm not considering him right now. Iâm really not really.
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